Every parent does things differently when raising his or her children. While I am not a fan of labels I do tend to fall into the attachment parenting bucket more often than not. I breastfeed, baby wear, make Peanut’s baby food from scratch, and co-sleep. I never thought that I would co-sleep. I didn’t want my child to still crawl into bed with my husband and me at the age of sixteen. We need our own space EVENTUALLY. My entire life is baby-fied including my marital bed.
NOT COOL, PEANUT. Children are the ultimate cockblockers.
So for the past eight-ish months I have been snuggling with my little bundle of spit and poop while getting very little sleep. She would wake about once an hour to comfort nurse. It was convenient for her to fuss just enough to wake me up so I could whip out my breast for her.
She is a smooth operator.
She wasn’t hungry. There was no fucking way that she needed to eat that much.
NO. FUCKING. WAY.
I don’t mind nursing her to sleep but I do mind her resisting until one in the morning. Babies need more sleep at night than what she was getting.
I swear I didn’t want to do it but I was losing my mind. I was not getting any sleep and I doubt she was feeling well-rested either. We needed to have some time apart. I needed my nights back. I needed ME time without a baby attached to me.
So I let her cry it out.
If I had tried it a month ago I would have felt like the worst mother in the universe. I was certain that there were things I hadn’t tried, methods that were still to be tested, the right lullaby, the right book, the right pajamas, the right room temperature.
I read the No-Cry Sleep Solution*. I tried the tips in the book. Elizabeth Pantley** gave me hope that good sleeping habits could be learned.
And guess what? NOT MY BABY.
Something tells me that I’m part of the majority on this one.
If I have ever made you feel bad about using the cry it out “method” with your child then I am sorry. A thousand times over I’m sorry.
SO VERY SORRY.
Get it? I’m apologizing.
It is hard to hear her cry. Luckily she falls asleep within thirty minutes so I don’t have to endure it for too long. When I go in to check on her she is sleeping on her stomach as if she fell asleep while sitting up and then just fell forward. It’s heartbreaking.
Well, not really.
She sleeps soundly and peacefully, get this…
ALL NIGHT LONG.
She usually goes down around nine and wakes up around nine the next morning.
She is a fucking rock star. The reigning queen of dream land.
And now I can get some sleep too. Or have sex with my husband. But probably mostly sleep.
*FTC disclosure: I did not get paid a damn thing for mentioning this book. Not only that but I even bought the book with my own money! In a real brick and mortar bookstore!
**Pantley is the author of the above-mentioned book. I have never met her nor have I corresponded with her in any way. We aren’t friends. Just so you know.
Now that you blogged about it, she'll be up tonight. That's just how it works. Seriously, though, I am glad she's sleeping! Getting a good nights sleep does wonders for a mama.
I tried CIO with Thing One and she cried til she puked. She was a rock-to-sleep baby for her first entire year of life. The boy, though, never could settle with rocking. We co-slept for 4 months and then he got to CIO. For him, it was more like cry for a minute or two and then just a repetitive, calm "ooooo". Like he had to meditate or something.
Different strokes for different folks is all. What works for one, blah blah blah. Any time someone gets all preachy over parenting styles, I just roll my eyes at them and move on. Life's too short to worry about what everyone else is doing wrong.
Wow! You did it, and you did it correctly. I'm impressed. I tried it with Bubba and couldn't do it, and have tried maybe 5 times to do it with Z and no dice there either. I also read Pantley's book and it did me no good, honestly. So I threw aside the books and did it my way- and we all were in tears. It's so hard to hear them cry, but some babies just have to learn the hard way. Z is a much better sleeper now, but she still ends up in our bed around 4Am, I can deal with that.
Good for you, I'm proud of you. It's the hardest thing to do! xx
i used the cry it out for my first kid. and it worked the first night. he was 3 months old.
my daughter and my youngest…nothing worked. NOTHING. in fact, my youngest, who is now 6…he still comes into my room in the middle of the night.
i'm a total sleep trainer failure.
Thank you for apologizing. You've never made me feel bad, mind you, but others have. And it's not fucking fair. That's not fair.
Glad that sleep is going better because you all need it.
We used ii some but Ian has always been a sleeping champ. Maybe that is because Casey would never ler me have him in our bed (Bastard, Casey not Ian).
I think it's great that it's working for you. As a mother I try not to criticize other parents' methods because every child is different and different things work for different people. I think the best thing a parent can do is never say, "I would never do that." Nobody knows what the whole situation is except those who are experiencing it.
Good for you for apologizing, parenting can be a touchy subject, for some reason everyone feels the need to add their opinion on your parenting or criticize you even though you never ask for it and I think that makes us all a little sensitive.
Parenting isn't an exact science and we're all just doing the best we can with what we're given. I think as long as you're trying and not hating on other parents you're on the right track.
you won something over at
http://theysayimnuts.blogspot.com/2009/12/whale-done-winners.html
email me your address so i can get it to you!
lynette355@yahoo.com
We CIOed at 10 months and never looked back. With that said, I'm one of those parents that don't judge others based on what they do differently from me. I wish all parents acted that way, but accept that we're different and that's cool.
Congrats on the extra sleep! Once your man sees you're rested up, he'll be nudging you for baby #2.
Oh the letting him cry was so hard! Jesse did it for me because as soon as the boy would cry I was in his room and putting him in bed with me. Jesse had to lock me in my room and then he did the checking on him and making sure he was okay. It took about 3 days but from then on he's fine. We do the whole set routine for bed time though. so now even at 3 he goes to bed right at 8:30 no fuss no nothing. We didn't co sleep but we did have him in the room with us for I think the first six months or so because we only had one bedroom, but once we got two rooms that's when the fun started.
It's all about consistency.
Way to go!
you won the book Whale Done Parenting over at
http://theysayimnuts.blogspot.com/2009/12/whale-done-winners.html
email me your address so i can get it to you!
lynette355@yahoo.com
I am still waiting…if you do not want this gift then let me know. I am holding the other 4 winners names and addresses to send to the publishers.
Wow I love you blog and I am following it…great blog…