This aught to be a good post.

This was a crazy fucking decade. Let’s reflect together, shall we?

2000 - I turned seventeen. I was a rock star. I went to rock concerts and met bands. I was cool. I had pink hair. I played the electric guitar in an all-girl band. We only had one song. Life was good. Like, really good. I was popular in my own way and doing well in school.

2001 - Fucking hell. Totally dropped out of high school my senior year. Well, not exactly. I just stopped going to class. Depression was kicking my ass. KICKING IT SOFA KING HARD. I had my heart broken by someone who isn’t worth discussing anymore. I then met and fell in love with my first actual not a doucheface boyfriend and we moved to Houston because we were stupid (I hate Houston). I started college (your mom goes to college).

2002 - BORING. I was going to school and working part time at some busted up mall. Boyfriend and I were boring.

2003 - We moved back to Dallas and I continued going to college. We broke up the week before my birthday and then got back together just in time for me to not spend my birthday alone and then we broke up again. I moved into my own place. I was lonely so I moved in with my dad and his wife. It was hell. I didn’t spend much time there. I was doing things like getting drunk and sleeping on random people’s sofas. My liver was very upset with me during this time.

2004 - Got accepted into UT-Arlington and fucked that shit up. Depression came back HARD and I slept away the semester in my cold and isolating dorm room. I got a job at fucking Kinko’s and moved with a girl that I drank with. I met a dude who lived in Oklahoma and we long-distanced until I got evicted from my apartment and decided to move up OK. I transfered to a store in Oklahoma and ran away from my problems in Texas. Yes, it’s THAT easy.

2005 – We broke up. God was he annoying. STAB STAB STAB. I decided that I hated my job and would join the Air Force so that I could travel or whatever. I met Jacob the week before Thanksgiving. We got engaged Christmas day.

2006 - Gave up on my idea of joining the Air Force. I didn’t want to be bossed around. Or something like that. I moved in with Jacob and his nine gazillion roommates. I quickly got to work on getting them to move out. And yes, I was 100% successful. Worked kinda hard, partied hard. Made new friends. Life? It was good.

2007 - I fucking got married! I never thought that would actually happen. Sucker! We got married on St. Patrick’s day. It was amazing. Shortly after that I accepted a promotion and moved back to Dallas. Jacob moved down a few months later since he had to finish out a contract at his job. We lived in a shit hole apartment. We had double dates and slept late and went out to sushi often. Oh, disposable income.

2008 - I got promoted to center manager of a brand new store. Awesome. Or whatever. Worked my ass off. We got pregnant! Moved to a better apartment complex. Hosted our very first Thanksgiving dinner. Felt like grownups.

2009 - I started this blog. My grandpa died. WE HAD A BABY! I quit my job so that I could stay at home with Peanut. Money became very tight. Ramen noodles = dinner. Went back to school and decided to kick some ass. Built a house and then moved into it.

So… I guess that’s it. THAT’S IT? Lauren, are you fucking kidding? This year alone was totally bananas and you sum it up in like six sentences and a math equation?

Fine. The aught decade is fucking over. Good times, bad times, really bad times. Not to mention all of the shit that happened around the world which I won’t get into because you already know and I’m sure another blogger is doing a proper decade-in-review.

So yeah. Happy New Year.