Is your blog ugly or boring? It probably is. Be honest with yourself. It’s cluttered and inefficient and doesn’t reflect your personality or writing. Unless you’re cluttered and inefficient. And ugly. Then I guess you have accomplished your goal.
If you want to take your blog to the next level you need a custom design. Doing it yourself is nearly impossible because reading hundreds of lines of code is painful. And boring. And paying someone to do it can get really expensive.
That is, unless you pay ME to do it.
All of my services include installation and troubleshooting. If you don’t see what you want on here let me know because it’s probably something I can do!
This includes a custom blog design with the following:
- Header with one stock graphic plus your blog title and description
- Sidebar customization with six sidebar titles (about me, followers, etc.)
- Horizontal link tabs
- Coordinating post signature
- 125×125 badge with “grab me” text box (Or it can be whatever size you’d like but that’s the ‘norm’)
- Background, fonts, and links to color coordinate with header design
Custom header – $30
Header with one stock graphic plus your blog title and description to coordinate with existing design.
Badge with “grab it” code text box – $15
125×125 badge with code text box (Or it can be whatever size you’d like but that’s the ‘norm’). Swap badges with friends!
Favicon – $4
A favicon is the little image that you see in the url bar of your web browser. If you use Blogger it is an orange “B.” This extra touch makes your blog extra special.
Post signature – $3
Image at the end of each post. It’s kind of like signing your name at the end of each post which adds a great personal touch. Will coordinate with existing layout.
Set of four social media buttons – $12
These buttons are essential for any blog! Includes Twitter, Facebook, RSS, and Email buttons that will coordinate with your blog design.
Additional stock image for header – $15/each
While it may be a stock image it can be tweaked to a point and I can add it to your header or sidebar.
Post Title Font – $8
This will change the font of your post titles to a font that will coordinate with your design. Even if your readers don’t have the font on their computers they can still see it. It’s a very cool upgrade.
Matching Twitter Background – $10
Blogging and tweeting go together like peanut butter and jelly. I will create a background for your Twitter profile page that you can upload yourself.
Tonight an article on the Better Homes and Gardens site was tweeted and since it was called “The 10 commandments of dining with little kids” I assumed it would be a well-written advice piece written by a mom to help parents have pleasant outings at restaurants with our children.
It was not. It was a fluff piece written by a woman who doesn’t even have children.
Yeah, before I had Avery I was a great parent too.
Most of the “commandments” are obvious like “thou shall try to squell high-pitched screaming” and “thou shall calmly discourage food fights.” Well, no shit. (Also, isn’t it quell? I don’t think that squell is a real word.)
The commandment that is causing all of the fuss is “thou shalt not breast feed at the table.” The author goes on to suggest taking your nursling into the bathroom to eat because some upscale restrooms are really nice.
Are you kidding me? Avery is past the age of nursing during meals but it wasn’t that long ago when she would reach for me from the highchair and I would take a scarf and cover up just enough to be “discreet.” And then I would continue to eat my meal with my free hand. I would chat, enjoy the company of the others at my table, and when she was finished or she had fallen asleep I would tuck my breast back into my shirt and either hold my sleeping child or put her back into her highchair.
I have never had anyone say anything to me about it. Jacob and I have a friend who is not necessarily anti-breastfeeding but he’s kind of THAT guy (a la Bill Maher). Tits are for sex, after all! Even he doesn’t say anything about my nursing. If he did my husband would dismember him. When I need to nurse Avery I don’t hide in another room and I certainly don’t hide in the bathroom. When Avery was only a few months old I would walk around the mall with another mom. She was very modest and when her son was hungry she wanted to go to the lounge where she could nurse “openly.” Yeah, it was more comfortable to not cover up but it was just feet from the toilets.
All I know is that the more I nursed in public the easier it became. I didn’t feel like I had to nurse in the car before going into a store. I could simply put Avery in the sling, cover her up and nurse. It gets more obvious the bigger she gets but I don’t show my breast because I know how square people are.
It doesn’t matter to me if a woman nurses her baby without covering up. Who the hell cares?! And yeah it is as easy as STOP LOOKING. In my entire life I have only noticed a handful of women nursing. It is happening all around you and we’re just so good at it that you don’t notice.
If you think that mothers should cover up while nursing I ask you to think about why you feel this way because it is no doubt from a warped sense of the proper usage for breasts or your own feeling of inadequacy.
Actually I don’t mean that shit. I know that women are sexualized and it’s been indoctrinated into our brains that we are for the pleasure of men and not for birthing and nursing children.
We are both. And that’s pretty cool. And if you leave a comment comparing nursing to taking a shit or having sex I am going to delete it. Because nursing = eating.
If you follow me on Twitter (I know how much you all LOVE it when a blog post opens with that phrase) you have no doubt seen me hawking my goods (not those kinds of goods) that I’m selling on eBay. While I never use my blog or Twitter in order to sell something except for the occasional sponsored tweet I figured that tweeting my auctions would be a good way to help sell my shit.
Why am I auctioning off all of my crap? GOOD QUESTION.
I need the money. There, that was simple enough.
More specifically I need the money for that little unknown blogging conference that I’m attending in August in NYC. This trip is going to be expensive and since I don’t have a job (at least not one that generates income on a regular basis) I have to find a way to get the money so that my husband doesn’t have to foot the bill for a trip he isn’t even taking.
I have never taken a trip like this before and by that I mean one that I had to pay for myself. My husband and I even had some help to pay for our honeymoon and that was the last vacation I took. I have gone on little weekend trips to visit family but visiting family is NOT A VACATION. Unless your family lives inside Disney World.
My roommate for BlogHer and I were originally going to drive but there is NO WAY. Driving from Dallas to NYC will add two more days onto our trip that I don’t have. I love road trips but this is not the time for one. What are my other options? Train? No. That will take even longer than driving. I guess that just leaves flying.
In a plane.
Yeah. It’s happening. I haven’t purchased my plane ticket yet but that’s how I plan on getting to NYC. When I think about it is the feeling, the panic, the sweating, it all comes back to me. How can I do this? Can I really get on a plane? If not, am I going to let this stupid fear keep me from doing the things I want?
Fuck you, fear of flying. If I have to get drunk to get on the damn plane that’s exactly what I’ll do.
So bid on my auctions and help me get to BlogHer (and yes, I included alcohol into the cost of my trip, DUH).
When I watch Glee it reminds me of high school. Obviously.
She knows that I am going to pick her up so she grabs her blanket and stands up. Such a deliberate action and I have no idea what to make of it. I carry her but she wants down so she can walk, nay, RUN into the kitchen for breakfast. She heads straight to the refrigerator and when I meet her there and open the door she points to a cup of soy yogurt.
I see her doing things ON PURPOSE. And with purpose. She knows what time her dad comes home and will linger around the door to the mud room waiting for him. She figured out how to use the stereo (and we have never done it around her so she figured it out all by herself). She is becoming more social and even has a best friend.