Today at the pool I did something that I am not proud of and it is really bothering me.
A friend of mine, her eighteen month old, Avery and I were playing in the baby pool in my subdivision. It gradually gets deeper but only up to eighteen inches so it’s perfect for the babies to splash around and, well, not drown. The kiddos were enjoying the otherwise vacant pool and we didn’t have to worry about keeping older kids from splashing or knocking them down.
After about twenty minutes of uninterrupted play two girls and a boy came over to the baby pool from the larger pool.
Great. Fine. Whatever. The boy turned on the spraying mushrooms and the buckets that dump water out once they’re full and it was fucking loud and that’s not the point.
The older kids were swimming in the insanely shallow water. Kids are decidely weird but guess what? They’re KIDS. It’s like, their job to be weird and random.
The boy was swimming and while doing the breast stroke (or was it the butterfly? I honestly don’t know which is which) he knocked Avery down and she went under. I instinctively scooped her up with one hand and used the other one to grab the boy by the arm. I yelled at him, “She is just a baby! Watch where you are going!”
His mother ran over (finally paying attention to your kids?) and picked up her now crying boy and yelled at me, “He’s only three years old!” I told her that I was sorry but he knocked my BABY under water!! I stood my ground but what was the point? I touched her son in anger. I didn’t need to do that. Why didn’t I just pick up my daughter and move to the other side of the baby pool? Kids that age (although before she told me his age he could have been ten years old; I can’t tell how old kids are) aren’t aware of others and he probably couldn’t see well since his head was under water. He could have been a special needs child. His mother was right to call me out on it. And she could have decked me so I’m relieved that she didn’t physically attack me.
Why did I feel the need to behave this way? I’m no bully. If I’m going to be an asshole I should direct it at people my age and not some random three year old.
If anyone ever touched my kid I would flip out and that person would be in a world of hurt. But that isn’t the point. The point is that I did something that I should have NEVER EVER EVER done. And I am ashamed of my behavior.
There is nothing else I can say about this except that it will never happen again. I need to remember that I am not THAT mom. I hate that mom and sohelpmegod I will not become that mom. That isn’t me.