Jan 052011
Jan 042011
The 2011 Bloggies are coming up and I’d like you to nominate me for a humorous blog award. Can you do that? CAN YOU?
Please and thank you! I never win shit but it might be nice for once.
How can the fairy collective surprise the sin?
Jan 042011
Like many of my fellow bloggers and tweeters I have decided to participate in the 365 photo project.
What the fuck is that? Thanks for asking. Now shut your whore mouth so I can tell you.
All you have to do is post one photo per day to wherever you want to keep your photos. There are iPhone apps you can use or you can post it to your blog. I did what many others chose to do which is create a Tumblog for it.
Check it out and follow me!
Jan 032011
Today was my last day of work at Cold Gravy and I am relieved. While it may seem selfish that I’m glad that I’m back to being unemployed I know that for now my place is at home. During my two months of employment my house has gone to shit and my marriage is looking kind of haggard. Moms everywhere work full time jobs and maintain households but after spending over a year and a half as a stay-at-home mom I needed to slowly ease my way back into the real world.
It was fucking hard, y’all.
Most of my hours worked were on weekends and by Sunday night I was beat. I didn’t want to do anything but obviously that is NEVER an option when you’re a parent and your husband isn’t too good at taking the initiative in regards to house work.
Tonight after work the three of us went grocery shopping and when we came back home Jacob sort of entertained Avery so that I could prepare dinner and put away the groceries. I also managed to do the dishes and organize one of my cabinets. The clutter in my house is astronomical, or at least this is how it seems to me. My husband tries to assure me that our house doesn’t look like we’re on an episode of Hoarders but I’m not convinced.
All I want is to have a clean and organized house but I think that unless I’m living alone it will ever be exactly how I want it. I’m so goddamn nit-picky about where things should go and how things should be folded or put away. Everything has a place! I feel like I need to get out my label maker (please, like you don’t have one?) and even label the simplest things. It’s frustrating to open the flatware drawer and reach for a big spoon and end up grabbing a little one. Really? There are compartments for each! kind! of! utensil! At least our two different sets of flatware make it into their respective drawers. If I ever saw a fork from set A in the drawer where set B resides I would probably stab someone in the eye with said fork.
ANYWAY, I am grateful to have my time back even if I don’t make any money folding my own laundry or sweeping up my own floors. Now I just need to crack down and get this place looking spiffy and clean before I have to toss an eating utensil and perhaps a body into Lake Lewisville.
Jan 022011
Just like last year I’m prepared to write out my new year’s resolutions and then not follow through. According to my mother I never finish what I start and this is most plainly illustrated by the fact that I’m an overweight college dropout. Not everyone’s star can shine, mom!
I’m hesitant to share them because even though no one but me is holding myself accountable I still feel obligated to do my best and not let you down as if you even care.
Clearly I’m stalling.
I’ll bust this out in list form because lists are fun and let’s face it- EASY.
1. Get organized: I want to clean my house and keep it clean (for the most part). Everything will have its own place and I will have not a single junk drawer in my kitchen. My closet floor will not be littered with clean clothes that I end up stepping on thus making them dirty which brings me to…
2. Keep up with the laundry. I mean it this time.
3. Read more. I don’t want to say that I’ll read a new book every week but I think that I should make the attempt to set aside time every day to read books. Not blogs, books.
4. Write more. Like, a lot more. I would like to participate in projects with other bloggers and spread my name and talent far across the blogosphere. It would be nice to find some paying writing gigs too. In fact,
5. Get a writing job that doesn’t pay pennies per page view. While I like the flexibility of freelance writing (ya know, when I actually get an offer) it would be amazing if I could land a gig that would give me a consistent paycheck.
6. Spend more time outside and around the house: Rather than walking around the mall and taking Avery to the play area at the mall I want to try to take her to the park on our block and play in the backyard. We don’t live near anything so staying closer to home would keep gas costs down and hey, sunlight FTW!
7. Grow a kickass garden. Last year was alright for our first attempt but I think that we can rock it this year. I want fresh organic produce in my own backyard. Maybe this year my squash won’t look as weird.
8. Eat more whole foods: I’m no longer vegan (still vegetarian) but I need to to cut way back on the breads and dairy.
9. Learn to bake. I want to master at least one recipe. I want to be the mom who bakes her children’s birthday cakes and I’d like to give homemade goodies as gifts but I’m too embarrassed by my shitty abilities to do it.
Might as well have a nice even number:
10. Lose weight. There. I said it.
Jan 012011
