The vacation I knew I needed.

 writing  2 Responses »
Aug 142011
 

Jacob and I just got home from our five-day vacation to Austin, our state’s lovely capitol. I need to edit the photos (most are total crap since they were taken indoors on cell phones sans flash) but I just wanted to express how grateful I am that we were able to get away for a few days. No, it wasn’t the cruise we had originally aimed for but it was still wonderful. The ‘goal’ of the trip was to relax and do whatever we wanted even if that ended up being nothing at all.

Most of our trip revolved around eating (and drinking, of course) and snuggling. Doesn’t it sound perfect? It kind of was. Jacob and I got to just hang out without worrying about diapers, laundry, money, or anything else that plagues us on a daily basis. I think that he finally let go and took a giant proverbial chill pill and it was glorious. Jacob stresses out about money and his job gives him stomachaches so to see him in a state of relaxation at all is quite a sight to behold. Lucky ol’ me got to relish in his calm for five days. I curled up in the crook of his arm and absorbed the serenity he was exuding.

Unless we were drunk and doing other stuff.

I can sum up our trip with this little haiku:

Free poolside beer flowed
Got tanned from walking SOCO
Fell in love again.

(photos soon)

Going for broke.

 writing  3 Responses »
Aug 082011
 

On Wednesday Jacob and I are going away for five days. We can’t afford a lavish trip to Hawaii or some other idyllic locale  so we’re driving three hours south to our magnificent state capitol, Austin. For five days we’ll be splashing around at Barton Springs, lurking around South Congress at dusk so we can see the bats, and basically doing whatever the hell we want sans child. It’s going to be amazing. We originally dubbed this trip as our ‘we need to relax and reconnect’ trip but due to its timing has turned into a baby-making trip too. We need this. We need to relax and not worry about the house or bills or the baby.

Unfortunately, Jacob can’t switch off. He will spend our entire vacation fretting about money.  It hurts my heart to see him like this. I told him that we can still have fun and not spend a lot of money because the point of this trip isn’t to do a lot of stuff- it’s to do EACH OTHER. And hey, for most people that doesn’t cost a thing!

Neither of us are fiscally responsible like we should be: we’ll buy a week’s worth of groceries and still go out to dinner three days that week. I go out to lunch almost everyday with my coworkers. If we could stop eating our expenses would go way down. However, that isn’t realistic. I like to eat and would prefer to not be anorexic. We have both agreed that going on a money diet when we get back from vacation is the only way we’ll be able to get ahead. We haven’t concocted a plan yet but basically we’ll be cutting out things like going out to eat, unnecessary shopping, and not buying non-essentials at the grocery store. Just like I used to do, I’ll have to make a meal plan and shop specifically for it. No extras. We will be living on the cheap. I’m sure that I will no longer be allowed to justify something because it’s only a dollar! (he hates Target’s dollar spot with the fire of a thousand suns). No more buying shit for the house no matter how much on-sale it is. Nothing.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m okay with this plan. I love shopping and I enjoy going out to eat. However, I enjoy having a house and electricity so I guess I’ll have to make sacrifices. We really want to pay off my car and other various debts (we only have one credit card but we owe our parents money) and once we do that it’ll free up so much income that we’ll feel like we’ve hit the jackpot.

I just hope that we can do it. Going on a money diet is hard but it’s necessary.

How do you handle cutting back? What kind of things do you do to save money?

Am I pregnant?

 family, writing  8 Responses »
Aug 012011
 

I am in a funk. A rut. A bad place. Whatever you call it, you’ll find me there. I’m here and I don’t know how to get out. I think I know how I got in though.

Jacob and I decided to start trying to have another baby. Squee, right?! Totes. We are very exciting to grow our family and feel like this is the best time to do it. I don’t take my temperature or anything fancy like that but I do track my periods on a nifty and free app on my phone. It somehow calculates when you’re ovulating and will indicate those days with a cute icon of a flower on a calendar. I have been using it to track my periods and now that it actually matters I’m all about this app.

A week ago I started lightly spotting. My period wasn’t due for another three days (per the app) so I thought that it was kind of weird but I just assumed that it was early this month. No big deal. That night I wasn’t bleeding but I was still lightly spotting. Next morning? Still spotting. Perplexed, I consulted Dr. Google.  I quickly came across several sites that used the phrase ‘implantation bleeding.’ Was this a pregnancy symptom that I had never heard of before? I was feeling kind of queasy and tired so actually being pregnant would explain everything! OMG I’m pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!1!!! I read on a reputable medical site that once you are implanted (when the fertilized egg burrows into the uterine lining, hence the bleeding) it may take 4-5 days for it to show up on a pregnancy test. You mean I have to wait almost a week to find out if I’m pregnant or not?

So I did what any woman who is trying to get pregnant would do – I bought a ton of dollar store pregnancy tests and peed. I took a test every day this past week. My period never showed up and as of Sunday (yesterday) I’m still not pregnant. What gives, body? Can you please get your shit together?

I’m starting to get annoyed. My expected menstrual cycle has come and gone and I barely spotted. It’s not that I’m already stressing out about getting pregnant but when your body acts like you’re pregnant but isn’t? It’s a mind fuck. Like, the ULTIMATE mind fuck. I want to move on with the assumption that I’m not pregnant but how can I when the biggest sign, a missing period, is in the back of my mind? I didn’t drink this weekend just in case. I didn’t ride a mechanical bull or play Russian Roulette. I can’t keep tip-toeing along with this giant WHAT IF in my life. I really don’t know what to do. Until my period shows up all I can do is take a pregnancy test every few days. And wait.