Dear Avery,

Today you are three years old. I never imagined that you’d ever be bigger than the five and a half pound peanut that came into this world. I never pictured, in my wildest dreams, that you’d be walking, talking (not just talking but using big words), and figuring the world out all on your own. You are such an observer of your surroundings. When you walk into a room you take everything in, assessing, learning, absorbing. It’s quite remarkable and I feel like I can almost see the wheels turning in your brain. You are a master problem solver and put a puzzle together so fast that I swear you’re a genius. Basically, you’re the smartest person I know and I know I can’t take all the credit for it.

My darling girl, you impress me everyday with how much you care about your family and friends. You are so loving and giving which are such good qualities to have. I hope that in the future you continue to be generous without being taken advantage of. I know that you will always be strong-willed and that one day you will be able to take care of yourself.  But I hope that, at least for a few more years, you’ll still need me. Because, baby girl, I certainly need you.

Happy birthday, sweet girl. You make your daddy and me so proud every single day.

March 2009

March 2012

My almost three year old goes through sleep phases. For a few weeks she’ll go to bed at a reasonable time. She won’t fight, fuss, or complain. She’ll snuggle and drift off to sleep with or without someone laying next to her. She’ll stay in her room, lights out, with no extra measures necessary to help her fall asleep. It’s amazing.

And then? There are the bad phases. Those, of course, last way longer than the good ones.  During the bad phases she requires us to jump through hoops in order to get her to fall asleep. We basically give into whatever she demands just so she’ll go to bed. Yes, she has slept with us. Yes, we’ve left lights on, doors open, and we’ve even let her try to sleep on the sofa. We’ve taken her for rides in the car (it still works half of the time) and rocked her til our arms fall off. Rocking a huge toddler isn’t the same as rocking a newborn. It’s back-breaking labor.

In the phase that we’re currently suffering through, Avery refuses to go to sleep. Period. She will eventually pass out between 11:30-12:00. She doesn’t want to sleep in her own room. Or mom and dad’s room. She sometimes wants to lay down in the guest room but she doesn’t actually want to sleep in there. She doesn’t want to be held. She wants the dog to lay down with her but Dude hates sleeping with Avery. He tries to sleep as far away from her as he can because she’s so squirmy. His presence in the room gets Avery riled up but when he’s not in the room with her she keeps asking where he is. It’s a lose-lose.

IT’S ALL LOSE-LOSE.

As a woman in her first trimester I am exhausted. I should be getting even more sleep that normal but these days I’m actually a bit sleep deprived. When my alarm goes off in the morning I feel like a zombie rising from the dead. It’s not a good feeling at all. Obviously. Unless you’re thinking that the newly reincarnated person is excited to be back in the game, in which case you don’t know much about zombies. At first I figured that my desire to have my toddler go to sleep at a decent, humanly hour was kind of selfish. Sure, I want to go to bed early or have ME time. I want to be alone, is that so bad? But when I saw how her lack of sleep was affecting her I knew something had to change. She begs her teachers to let her take a nap. She actually fell asleep at the lunch table today. She screams and fights with Jacob when he gets her ready in the morning. She is basically unpleasant to be around because she’s so tired and it breaks my heart. I knew that something needed to change but I guess I was just too tired to facilitate a change.

Tonight, however, hubby and I had a plan. After snuggling, putting together puzzles, and reading for about half an hour I put her to bed and left the room. She was displeased and came out of her room. So I put her back. And again. And… again. Then it was Jacob’s turn. After about thirty minutes of this we decided it was time to lock her door. We turned her door knob around so that it will lock from the outside. This is not a decision we made lightly. In fact, I still don’t feel totally comfortable with it but she knows how to disassemble a child-proof knob cover. This was our only other option. Once we locked her door she banged and cried and tried with all her might to open the door. Every five minutes one of us would open the door, hold her for a minute until she calmed down, then put her back to bed, locking the door behind us. After about an hour she fell asleep, fingers sticking out from the other side of the door. We waited a little longer until we knew she was asleep  and then Jacob went into her room. She was still on the floor so he moved her to her bed and she stayed asleep.

Will she sleep all night without waking up? I fucking hope so. As long as my sweet girl is more chipper in the morning I’ll know that our plan worked. Now we just have to keep it up until a habit is formed. That should be fun.

Avery will be three on Sunday. The Terrible Threes have already begun in this house. I’d say ‘send wine’ but I can’t drink it so SEND ICE CREAM!

No y’all, I didn’t have the baby yet. I’m only eight weeks along and that would be one tiny little bean.

We decided to adopt a puppy.

If you know me this is HUGE. And kind of uncharacteristic of me. Throw a toddler and animal-loving husband into the mix and then tell me you wouldn’t get them a dog.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t excited about having a dog. This little guy has grown quite attached to me and I’m digging him a lot too. We named him Dude. Not THE Dude. Just… Dude. He’s mostly black with white accents and we think he’s a terrier mix.

Basically, he’s so stinkin’ cute and we love him already.

More on this later. I’m so tired and I have to juggle getting a grumpy-ass toddler ready for bed while figuring out what to do with a little puppy who may or may not pee on the bed in the middle of the night.