Tons, you asshole. Just kidding, it’s new year’s resolution check-in time!
1. Get knocked up.
Yep, still pregnant! Eleven weeks along.
2. Leave my hair alone.
I need to start doing a deep conditioner on a weekly basis. I haven’t dyed my hair at all but I still blow dry and straighten it on almost a daily basis. That’s just as damaging as bleaching it.
3. Spend less money on myself.
I’m getting too fat for my regular pants so I had to get some new ones.
4. Lose an average of one pound per week.
HHAHAHHAHAAAA. I lost weight from my first prenatal appointment to my second (I don’t know how much) but I can attribute that to feeling too nauseous to eat. Too bad that I actually need to eat in order to keep the baby and myself healthy.
5. Learn at least one song in its entirety on my guitar.
My poor little pink guitar sits unused. So sad.
6. Read at least two books every month.
I pray for my child to go to sleep on time so that I can go to bed too. There is no desire to stay up late and read.
7. Work on making master bedroom look like a bedroom and less like a large closet with a bed in the middle of it.
No change. Ikea was still out of the duvet cover that we want. Surely they keep more than one of those in stock at a time, right?
8. Be less of a bitch.
Whatever. I’m pregnant and cranky. It’s in YOUR best interest to avoid me.