We are officially halfway through this awesome journey! I have much more energy these days which I have been taking advantage of by hitting the pool and doing some cleaning of all the things. I donated a bunch of stuff to Goodwill and we will be participating in the subdivision-wide garage sale next weekend. We are hoping to unload some things to make room for new baby stuff and make a few bucks in the process. In the past few days I have noticed my ankles looking a bit more, um, pronounced, than usual. I have very few delicate features and my ankles are two of them so when they look chunky, I NOTICE. Most women get cankles during pregnancy but any swelling freaks me out since I had hypertension during my last pregnancy. I think it’s time to get serious about my diet and hopefully that will keep the puffiness to a minimum.
While writing this post I started watching Pregnant in America, a documentary about the issues with birth in the United States (it’s on Netflix instant if you want to check it out but I must warn you, if you had a traumatizing birth experience it might be difficult to watch). While watching it I was typing up my plan for the upcoming weeks such as registering at the hospital and taking a tour of L&D. I had ultimately chosen to have a baby at a hospital because the only birth center that will perform a VBAC is in Richardson which is about a 45 minute drive from my home but nearly an hour from my office (which would make it a bit of a trek to go to appointments). Now, when I put it down in writing it doesn’t seem that far away. And it’s not. But I think what was in the distance for me, and perhaps previously unreachable, was my comfort in doing something non-traditional. Isn’t that weird? I am someone who always went against the grain; if everyone else is going left, you can bet your ass I’m going right. So why was this different? Was I afraid? Did I really think that a forty-five minute drive was worth trading in my peace of mind and what I knew was the best choice for convenience? Jacob teased me for watching the documentary since it’s obviously biased (what documentary about anything isn’t somewhat biased?), but he sat down and watched it too. The part about the use of the dangerous drug Cytotec freaked him out, as well as the doctor’s instructing the nurses to not check or record the woman’s progress to ensure that a cesarean will be the ultimate result. He knows that I was given Pitocin and NOT Cytotec with Avery’s birth, but I don’t remember being checked much at the hospital, and neither does Jacob. We both have our reservations about hospitals in general and honestly feel like, as a society, we are overly medicated. My good ol’ Okie husband is more of a hippie than he realizes (just don’t tell him that!).
We had talked about a birth center birth for baby number two but there seems to be only ONE birth center in Dallas-Ft. Worth that will do a VBAC. Even before I was pregnant I interviewed the midwife who runs the birth center (the one in Richardson) and I pretty much love her. This was about two years ago but I’m sure she still performs VBACs so I will do some research and give her a call.
I know that if we switch providers we are going to eat some of the cost that we’ve already paid my obstetrician but Jacob has reassured me that money isn’t the issue as long as I am comfortable and happy with this process (his comfort is important too). This is what we both want. And not because it’s trendy or because we’re OH SO CRUNCHY (we’re not, it’s a label I have no desire to pin to myself), but because we have experienced the hospital system’s version of a birth and that’s not what we want.
I’m aware that there are risks involved in a VBAC but there are risks in having a repeat cesarean too, and I find it hard to believe that having ANOTHER MAJOR SURGERY is safer than having a vaginal birth. That’s not even up for discussion since a VBAC has been my goal all along. Your opinion on it in either direction is welcome but you won’t be swaying me to have another cesarean (so don’t bother, I guess is what I’m trying to say).
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, which is a relief in itself since my belly is getting really heavy.