It’s not even cold outside.

And I have a cold.

I caught it from a coworker who sits in my pod but we don’t even face each other. In fact, we don’t interact that much and yet she got me sick. She also gave the cold to our other team member who sits right next to her. He and I shared a roll of toilet paper-as-Kleenex today. Of course, during my final week at my job (!!!!) I get sick and probably shouldn’t call out. That would look bad, I guess. What can they do, fire me?

Last night, in an attempt to feel even just a little bit better, I took some Dayquil gel capsules. Oooh, Dayquil is of the devil when you’re pregnant. Apparently. I don’t know why but my mother-in-law, who is a pharmacist, couldn’t offer me any hope by way of drugs except for worthless Tylenol. Grownups don’t take Tylenol because that shit doesn’t work. I need ibuprofen. And I need it now.

So, against the warnings heeded by basically every website that Google churned out during my search, I took the damn things anyway. I figured that I’m far enough along in my pregnancy that a single dose of Dayquil, AKA Satan juice, won’t do any harm.

Not only did my baby NOT grow a tail, but I also didn’t get any relief from my cold. All night, I couldn’t breathe through my nose and my right nostril was a leaky faucet and I was achy and feverish. I’m coming for you, Vicks. Clearly, both you and Tylenol are the makers of products that don’t fucking work. I want to feel better. I want to sleep. I want to BREATHE.

So you know what I did? I made some chicken noodle soup. LIKE A BOSS. From scratch-ish. I say ‘ish’ because I used those rad chicken-flavored bullion cubes instead of making my own broth. I don’t know how to make my own broth and that shit sounds time-consuming anyway. I had seen my mother make it a thousand times when I was growing up- she would whip some up when my sister or I weren’t feeling well- and it always made me feel better. Just the smell of the peppery broth and steam helped clear up my nasal passages and soothed my throat.

I think my mom would have been proud of my soup-making skills tonight. It was some damn tasty chicken noodle soup and it made me feel better! I’m still a little congested and fatigued but I don’t feel like total shit anymore and I’d like to think that the soup had something to do with it. I also baked some pumpkin spice cupcakes with cream cheese icing (all of that shit came from a box mix or a can) so I’m sure that helped too. I love pumpkin-flavored anything. I digress.

This fall, when your coworker or child infects you with the common cold, make some chicken noodle soup. If you don’t eat meat (and you really shouldn’t- I hate that at the moment I’m not leading by example), I recommend Gardein’s chick’n fillets and vegetarian vegetable bullion cubes as substitutes.

I really really wish that I had photographed the soup because now I want to share the recipe with you. Next time, I promise. And yeah, there will be a next time because it’s damn good soup that works better on colds than stupid Dayquil or Tylenol.