Oct 162012
Being pregnant makes you do Google searches that you should probably NOT be doing because they’ll either terrify you or they’ll terrify you A LOT.
In the past 48 hours I have Googled the following (no links, I’m that lazy):
- Butt crack changes color dilation (apparently, IT DOES)
- How to naturally induce labor
- Self check cervix dilation (I Googled this like seventeen times)
- Longest human pregnancy (375 days- baby was healthy but holy shit, that sucks)
- Castor oil recipes
- How much castor oil to induce labor
- Foods containing prostaglandins (no foods contain it unless you count swallowing semen (WHICH I DO NOT))
- How to turn posterior baby (Spinningbabies.com is now my homepage on my laptop)
- Image search: mucous plug (Don’t do it. Just don’t.)
- Bad smelling dark pee during pregnancy (duh, drink more water)
- Is nausea a sign of labor? (It is, but not one of the important ones, like having contractions)
I really should take a break from researching stuff that will only scare the shit out of me but not actually help the baby come out. He’ll get here when he gets here, right? I just need to chill out and be patient. And drink tons of water. And rest. If you want to keep up with my constant bitching about STILL being pregnant (which doesn’t bother me, I’m mostly being sarcastic and not actually upset about it) follow me on Twitter or Instagram- @laurenacarlton is my name for both. Ch-ch-check it out.
You’re only gonna be pregnant for a little longer, so abuse your husband. That’s a perk of being pregnant right? And enjoy how extra cute and glow-y you look. Don’t google anything else, even though I really enjoy learning random facts of pregnancy.
I can’t stop Googling! But I’ll try not to stress over the results too much.
LOL…..I <3 you. Clif and I were just discussing you and your situation….we both agreed how right now sucks for you
I hope that brings you some comfort…This is the type therapy your bff brings to you and why you love me so much. Just a little while longer and he will be here, I promise 
The only reason I am eager to get him OUT is because lately my blood pressure has been high and it makes me nervous. Other than that, he’s totally cool to hang out in there for as long as he wants.
Butt cack discoloration? I think I am gonna quit reading your blog until after Big Boy is born. You are getting too base for me. Starting to lose my appetite.
For the record, it apparently happens when you go into labor- it wasn’t a search brought on by a symptom I actually have. Someone on Twitter told me about it. So blame her.
I don’t blame anyone, just don’t want or need to know about any sort of discoloration.
Write about a good book you’ve read recently (but not a book about discoloration), a good movie, or some good music. Real life is too messy, smells, and is dicolored.
It is not just the destination, but the journey. Preganancy – life in general – is a journey. Make the most of each moment and instead of ‘googling,’ go for a walk at the mall and go ‘oogling.’
…and don’t make fun of my misspelling of ‘pregnancy’ – getting older and blinder is just part of the journey too! lol
I know you aren’t going to stop googling…I wouldn’t lol. Tap into your pregnancy rage! haha
No need to stop googling, but I’m sure baby boy will be here before you know it.